I think you have proved that you have got the situation well under control, the very fact that you are thinking so deeply about it must mean that you stand a good chance of getting it sorted sooner rather than later.
Sally got it right I think when she said "I realised I didn't always listen when he spoke to me" ..I daresay we have all been guilty of it but I have strong memories of picking Blair up from childminder/school and, instead of listening to how his day had gone, just turning the hifi on in the car as I drove him home. And then plonking him in front of the telly while I prepared meals. If I had my time again .......
Yes, we are role models too, and typically they always copy the bad things, I mean he wouldn't copy YOU tidying his room would he??
It's like swear words too isn't it?? They hear them once and by golly they are committed to memory!!!! And shouted out at the worst possible moment.
But I think you are on the right course MM, if you have 5 good daughters then there is every likeliehood that you will end up with a very good son too!!! And I bet you do!!
All the best!!