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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: KarenLeeds ()
Date: January 16, 2007 06:06PM

Naturally...as long as it's only their spiritual well-being you have in mind, Alan...I'm an upstanding member of the community - I can't be linked to any scandal.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Lynne ()
Date: January 16, 2007 11:29PM

I have a parcel (discretely wrapped in brown paper) for The Vicarage. Would you mind collecting it, as soon as possible, as I don't wish to have undesirable packages on the premises.

I know I don't have any say in your choice of reading matter and what you do in the privacy of your own home is your affair but, in future, would you arrange for any similar parcels to be delivered by courier.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 17, 2007 01:00AM

Evenin PC Coaty! You wre supposed to come round yesterday and take down my particulars - but it's ok... the locals have sorted it now.

But whilst yer here - can you please sort out the madstock? The tw*t has been pasting grafitti everywhere and doesn't have the nounce about him to not sign it!

There is also a very dodgy premises run by Will & Karen... hmmm... not sure it's legal - I think you should talk to them too!!!

Ans as for the dodgy handyman (Flash) and the vicar (Alan)... well... I don't wish to gossip - I'm not the gossipy type - but sheesh... they need sorting too!

I myself am of course the sweetest citizen!

Lynne... Let's get together and open the parcel together! Then we either keep the contents.... or... we blackmail the original recipient!

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Lynne ()
Date: January 17, 2007 01:35AM

No point in blackmailing a vicar.......not on his stipend

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Lynne ()
Date: January 17, 2007 03:04PM

Vicar

Please note I have NOT opened your mail, it is more than my job is worth. It was the village gossip who suggested it ....not me.

May I also add that I was assuming as to the content of the packages but, after your last comment, my suspicions have just been founded!!

GOTCHA!!

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: KarenLeeds ()
Date: January 17, 2007 06:54PM

I have decided to employ young men as well as young women at mine and Will's 'nightclub'...no point in discriminating!

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 17, 2007 07:08PM

Oh god, Coaty... where do we start? Well... on the first message, you'll get a rundown of who's who in the "village". That will give you an idea of the roles. Then just dip in - it is well worth a full read though!

Karen... perhaps you can find a couple of all-rounders! That way you can have half the staff, with full flexibility, and keep your costs down!

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: KarenLeeds ()
Date: January 17, 2007 08:52PM

Hahahahahahahaha!

PC Coaty, I nearly choked on my Jaffa Cake! Pure speculation...I don't 'do' coppers.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 17, 2007 08:52PM

Yes, thanks Flash. A sterling job you did too! I'm just giving them a good polish (the windows that is). And yes, they're back entrance does need boarding up... but I think Seamermate is more the target for that one.

PC Coatyless. I'm still waiting for you to come and take a statment about my broken windows. Madstock has admitted it was him though... so you'll just have march round with your truncheon and cuffs, and sort the bugger out.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 17, 2007 09:04PM

See PC Coaty - we knew you'd fit into this village in no time at all!

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 17, 2007 09:17PM

Ah yes... my pink ones. I was wondering where they'd got to.

Not much good for holding your arrestees... but they do keep their wrists warm. Watch out for that Seamermate though - he's a real pain in the butt, sotospeak, and has been hankering for those for his drag act at the pub on a Friday Night.

Yes... Neighborhood Watch sounds like a great idea - I propose that everyone piles round to CGs pub right now, where we can discuss such vital matters as the caravan that's just turned up on Angie's field. Blimmin travellers - shoot the lot of them I say. And as for Will & KFL's club... well - the sounds eminating from there last night were horrendous. I could hear them quite clearly once I walked out to the bottom of my garden and had a look too.

I'll bring the muffins and jam!

CG - lovely blouse darling... may I borrow it?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2007 10:04PM by Elle1971.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 17, 2007 09:31PM

You handymen are all the same. Tell you what, we'll have a nice cup of tea and talk about what I saw you doing the other night - and who with. I'm sure that we'll be able to come to a mutual arrangement.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 18, 2007 12:02AM

Ah CG... I'm guessing you've nabbed me fluffy ones back? Excellent news! I'm now all set for the 999 night at Will and KFLs place.

By the way... yes please to the blouse... I'm on my way. I've also got that recipe for my special shortbread for you.

Can't stop long though... have been ripped off by a "Flash" handywman (although I'm sorting thattun!)

Tomorrow night's looking good though! A few Gold Label barley wines at CGs.. followed by Will's place

5) Music Policy
Thursday nites: Madchester night: relive the sounds of the inspiral carpets, stone roses, the Mondays, Jesus and Mary Chain, primal scream and other early 90s classix. Free drinks for beanie hats and tie dye t shirts.

Have dug out my beanie hat (saves me doing my hair) and will head down there afterwards. Only for the music of course. I can also keep an eye on the comings and goings. It's all for the community!


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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: KarenLeeds ()
Date: January 18, 2007 04:16AM

Many of the local constabulary (sp??) in our place tonight...I will of course accept bribes to keep my lips sealed and to accidently lose the CCTV tapes.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 22, 2007 08:45PM

Oy Madstock - less of the old! If my legs could handle it... I'd chase you, and then tan your hide - you naughty little tike!

Anyway... any of you grown-ups fancy the pub tonight? I heard it's "80's Night", and I've dug my rah-rah skirt out especially. now all I need are some extra thick tights to hide my varicose veins.

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 22, 2007 08:50PM

Well... it's not just the veins... my hammer-toes are quite horrendous too - but it's ok... they'll be crammed into my shiny green stilettoes! Now where did I put my lace gloves?
..................... Seamermate? You again?

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 22, 2007 10:38PM

Damn... where's that Elnett hairspray? Some serious back-combing needed for my Bonnie Tyler "do", I think! I'll even put a lace ribbon in it too.

Blue eyeliner - check
Cerise pink lippy - check
Stillettoes - check
Rah-rah skirt - check
Batwing top - check
200 bangles - check

Oh, and I've found some suitable tights. They even have a pattern up the ankle. A tiger thingy.

Can I bring my Aha, Bangles, and Bros CDs too?!

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 23, 2007 01:17AM

Actually... yes I am. I am a dab hand at CB radio and the like...


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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 23, 2007 04:39AM

'ere... where's everyone gone?

Oh well.. never mind... I'm tucked under CG's bar with a bottle of sambuca - and life is good! Am going to stagger home now, and peek through my curtains at the goings on at Will and Karen's place.

Oh my... what's this I see?

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Re: Lanzaroteisland.com Village
Posted by: Elle1971 ()
Date: January 24, 2007 03:16AM

'Ere... what's happenign here then? I keep awakening in the small hours... under CGs bar! No other bugger about... and it's dark!

Oh well, seeing's as I pay CG a retainer - I'll just help myself. ooh... hang on just one bloddy minute... what's that going on round the back of Will & Karen's place?!?!?!

I'll be back... with a full report tomorrow!

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